My jesus, short story ,love, reality , blog, Uncategorized

The thorn in my flesh, Love

 

 

 

his death

 

So working for my uncle was hard enough , working with him has become my daily nightmare. He’s not a bad man,no and everything would have been fine if i did everything as he said , but i am just not that person. I discovered that though i do not have problems with authority or rules and regulations i need wee bit more time than others to get it  into my  system.

I have been trying hard to be on his right side but no matter what i do somehow i find myself on his left. It’s hard to dispute the fact that he has a right to come after me and most of the time I actually deserve it . I however wish he listened when  i tried to explain my side of the story not so i can excuse myself but at least he would be correcting the real problem not the symptoms.

Many days i want to quit but i know that is not the solution , i have a real shot at doing something useful with my life if  hang on for five minutes more. Those days with him have been the harshest days of my life but i have never been ever so keen i keep getting better with every rebuke and harsh words thrown my way. So LOVE i pledge that i will never give up on you because you never did that with me.

 

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My jesus, short story ,love, reality , blog, Uncategorized

What you meant …love

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I will tell you a story of my lover and my friend. He said to me that he was my shepherd  that i would not want . He promised me that he would let me lie in green pastures and lead me besides the still waters. He would lead me in the path of righteousness for his name sake. Even though i walk through the valley of the shadow of death i would fear no evil , he promised to be with me . His rod and staff was supposed to protect. He said that he would prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies , my cup would overflow. Goodness  and mercy was to follow me all the days of my life but

……my Love lied, as soon as i got closer he left me, it was cold and  hungry  and the little food that i got from him was like a double edged sword cut deep it heart the only water i could find to quench my thirst was bitter. He forgot to mention that his path was a narrow one filled with sharp thorns that that  his name was by another name pain. He didn’t come to my rescue when i was faced with death instead he left me alone to become a dry bone. His rod was used on my heart to break it and  i lived to see my enemies eat at my table and have a good time while my cup cracked from being dry. There was no mercy just a lot of bad i was just about to walk away when i found out…

That he had always been where i was carrying me. That when we ate and quenched our thirst and if we didn’t it was always him and i.  His thorn filled path made me stronger and more enduring, that despite the pain in his name it still provided healing. While he didn’t stop me from dying to the flesh my spirit was being renewed everyday  and the rod he used on me shaped me to the person i was becoming. While my enemies still have a good time i know it’s only a matter of time, My  love is coming soon and i will be waiting to hear the sound of his voice to be with him forever where mercy abounds . See in the end my love kept His promise

My jesus, short story ,love, reality , blog, Uncategorized

for laughter and for tears ….love

FOR LAUGHTER AND FOR TEARS

I just received some bad news today, my two grandmothers died , I wasn’t close to one of them , maybe because they were a distant relative but he meant the world to my uncle, so it mattered. I could have lived with that , i did for a while until…

I was happy today, after getting an ultrasound the doctor confirmed that cancer wasn’t lurking anywhere my breast. After months of agony and worry turns out God already fixed the problem because though they found lumps, they weren’t exactly abnormal and certainly not cancerous , so i came out feeling good that i would be keeping my breast and feeding my child in future.

When i went back i managed to make a pretty  good sale, then as if you wanted to let me know, i found myself thinking about my grandmother . In those circumstances, especially after being informed that my uncle’s mother was dead it only shook me considering that my mum’s mother was sick. I thought what it would be like to lose her, it seemed so real till i brushed it off because i was confident you’d let her see my first child..

I went to my favorite movie shop as it is my custom, finding my sister -in-law at the door didn’t ring any bell .I laughed at her well meant sarcasm then she dropped the bomb, my mum’s mother was dead. Suddenly the world stood still, i was still laughing now not out of joy but disbelief. I would never see her again, never sleep in her bed, never hear her stern but loving voice calling to me. She was never seating on that bench, the bench in our countryside and smile as i came in. My name would never again be in her lips but she’d remain in my heart forever. I did pray for her healing and you chose to give her rest. I may never understand why but i trust , i always trust you, i will always trust because in laughter or tears love we will never be separated.

 

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I miss you…. Love

he knows my name
 this is so like …us

Ever since i started my annoying habit of watching movies till late night after work I lost something i can’t afford to , my time with you . We no longer have those long talks more , i know i do most of the talking but still ,it’s not the same.What hasn’t changed is my insane belief that you’ve always got my back, the way you say a lot without saying and answer the prayers that i haven’t voiced yet.

I have found myself falling asleep at work and you always wake me up.The tap on my desk, the other day i heard someone call my name. You care if am great at work and if i get sloppy. It hasn’t escaped my attention the way you use my uncle to shape me to the kind of person you want to me to be. Don’t stop,you can’t stop because that’s the only way i will become what you want . I have a request for you,that you be mine for life for mine , thanks again for the many sweet surprises, a sweet gesture from a friend, a family member’s commitment and of course the occasional kind actions from strangers.In all of them, i see you.

My jesus, short story ,love, reality , blog, Uncategorized

It gets hard ..Love

 

 

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me and daddy, wait a minute big brother Jesus.

It’s my new job or perhaps my new state . I thought it would be easy , well, it would be if i just followed everything  i was told, turns out i can’t . I can’t because i question everything or sometimes i don’t like feeling static. I can’t because i won’t which is not something am proud of but i have made it a habit. Point is, the only  reason i get to go to work everyday is because my boss, who happens to be my uncle is extremely patient with me. Scratch that am only there because you want me there period.

See, my uncle is not the easiest person to work with or for but i can’t deny that he’s the most patient of persons i’ve ever met. I  used to think he was piling to much pressure on me to get it right, considering am only almost two months in, thanks to you i see it differently. If he didn’t think of me highly, he wouldn’t be on my case that much.

I have learned from you that painful experiences are not meant to discourage me, but are your diamond dust that you use to polish your jewels. That i will face much more heart wrenching experiences and fail one too many. If i don’t let go of the rope no matter how painful or weak i became eventually the ocean will become a pond and then i will be great….. Ooops! sorry about that then we’ll be great. Me and you are always great.

 

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You see me.. Love

 

she held him

I was having a bad day, a really  bad one. After seating through endless hours of my uncle’s talk to , the way he went on and on pointing what i hadn’t done and what i needed to do. I was beat . I needed some breath of fresh air. As great as the things that he was telling me were , i was simply  done, I was done listening.

It would’ve have been better if someone hadn’t crossed the line , they did . I gave them one look , the one i save for special occasions reserved for special offenders. The endless back and forth from one store to another( my uncles runs a hand sprayer shop) I was tuckered . I want to seat by myself and enjoy my delicious but otherwise cold lunch . The drama unknown to me had just begun, my uncle’s departure was marked by the arrival of an elderly customer.

We started off well till he insisted on seeing a particular pump accessory known as the spray  disc. He didn’t believe me one bit when i dared to suggest i didn’t have what he was asking for. Instead i had to bear the brunt of his harassment taking care not to disrespect him. The day did finally come to an end , thankfully so.

He must have seen because the next day was a good one . I made more sales than i have ever done before in that shop since i was hired few weeks ago. It brought tears to my eyes, not really but i was grateful, love , thank you for seeing me.

 

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I wrote a letter to my Father …..

the lord my shepherd

On the way i lost it, but you picked it up and put it in your pocket. My letter had so many questions such as why i had to suffer so much, why you make me wait for so long and why the world seems to be against you so much . I waited for an answer, to hear your voice , deep and all so authoritative answer me , but you My Love were quiet.

I admit i did lose my patience time and again. One because it didn’t seem like you paid attention and two because you didn’t answer as i expected . This did not appear to have any effect whatsoever on you. I gave up and forgot all about it but apparently you didn’t

As it turns out through my mother’s suffering i got my answer. She became beautiful. Your strength was made perfect in her weakness. Even when there was nothing to smile about, no smile has ever been warmer, her circumstances didn’t change but she’s everything and much more of what i would like to be. Then i read about David, a man after your own heart. He was annointed very young yet only when he was thirty did he get to rule Israel. He became the greatest of Kings but he had to carry the crown before he could wear it.

Then i got this revelation people don’t hate you, not really they just don’t understand you. Like me they don’t want to be the ones going the extra mile for others, it seems ridiculous to want to kill our own self desires . With time i’ve come to understand that if i have any hope of walking in your foot steps i have to give up my own quest and let yours lead on. It’s hard love but i will get there.

 

 

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Love say cheers…..

via Daily Prompt: Elaborate

come to me

You’d look good in a picture but then again you always look good anywhere . People often wonder what’s up with me when it comes to you well let me explain. It’s how you would look at me and a murderer in the same eyes , the same amount of love. Wait a minute he killed and i just lied , is that fair no, is that what you would do absolutely.

 

You are a funny one you don’t get angry at me for not doing everything right technically you do but if your punished me as i deserved i dare say i wouldn’t be alive to do. Just the other day you got angry at a fig tree for not having figs and instead of praying for it to bear some, because you could you cursed it, i imagined you said ‘freeze’ and from then on no figs for that tree again ever.

You are a nice one. By the way even today nobody loves tax collectors there are not even called that anymore but am guessing you know about that . It just feels nice to let you know . Peter denies you and you forgive him, the thief by your side you forgave. You let the woman accused of adultery walk and healed the ear of one of the men who wanted to have you crucified. See you are a special brand, now what was i saying, got it elaborating why i love you this much.

 

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Love said love….

love said love

Love one another as i have loved you so should you love one another…

Say what now? I didn’t know that loving you required me to love others . Okay that ‘s a lie thing is i had heard it before it’s just the way you put that scares me .It is easy to love those who love me or like me. Good people, that’s a walk in the park except this is not what you are asking of me. Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. That’s my real issue right there because sometimes i can’t get myself to do that but if you help well….

My relationship with myself is still a work in progress mine with yours is not where i would want it to be mostly i feel like am not doing enough though as far as i remember you said i didn’t have to do anything just believe in you . Still i can’t help but feel i have to do something, so you see still this is hard for me. You say that i should love my difficult aunt, my hard to please uncle and two timing customers? I can’t not on my own.

Just to be clear i don’t hate them i just don’t like them. I love them , i wish them well , i would treat them well but my soul betrays me because when they are away i make them the topic of discussion. Tell it as it is  that’s what i call it but you and I know that’s not right. So there you go this one thing i can’t promise on second thought I can do all things through You who gives me strength.

 

 

 

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Greater Love has no man….

his deaththan to give his life for his friends.And you gave up everything from your very kingly life in heaven to in the end your life and at thirty years old at that. You chose to be born in a poor family not a choice many would make if they had a privilege of being able to choose to which family they were being born to. In a place that was not known for any good at all, Nathaniel asked, can anything good come from Nazareth. Well, it did You happened.

You could have chosen a pack of good people to be your friends instead you went for the tax collectors, prostitutes, thieves,adulterers and all people who no one wanted anything to do with.There was no one too dirty or too messed up for you. You risk hatred from the pharisees if only to love those who needed it the most and everyone else for that matter.

And there was no beauty in him.See you didn’t even come as prince charming handsome and all , you were the rugged next door neighbor whom many thought of as the carpenters soon. You died by your own works a cross rugged and made of the same material you had been working with for years. It isn’t your death though it’s why it happened. It was for all people even the undeserving like me so that we would live forever with you in my father’s house they are many rooms say hi to Dad and thank you Love