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Really,what is love…..

All the soap operas have the same script and all of them end the cinderella way and they lived happily ever after. I believe in dreams but building castles in the air about love that doesn’t exist is not my kind of thing. I am not a romantic because its fanaticism and and i want to retain my brains thank you very much.

I believe in  friendship. The kind of frienship thats wild and free. I want to be loved despite who i may be . There is something about the bonds of friendship that is immortal . Friendships are not based on vanity rather they emerge from shared experiences. They know no boundaries of tribe, race, religion or culture. They give the promise of hope that no matter the darkness tomorrow will be a better day. It hurts sometimes to be a friend. You may just get betrayed but you soldier on knowing that you did your best. Then you one day find that friend who only death can do you part with, so whatever you do grow in love.

 

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Save me……

i’m wriggling in my pain

trying to live through my shame

my face cloaked with misery

and bitterness in my heart

i no longer smile

the spark in my eyes is gone

my waist doesn’t dance anymore

and my anklets do not chime

the day has gone dark

someone help ………..please save me

 

IF YOU DON’T FIND ME…..

don’t look for me. Its because i don’t want to be found.  I am running from my past  my mistakes, everything that reminds me of those days. When all i had to worry about was myself. When it wasn’t too hard to be selfish. Now i am paying for my sins and i don’t want to face what  i did. Don’t spend too much time worrying its no use you can’t help me that way live your life it is better if you and i don’t cross paths the many i have hurt would tell you that.

What i don’t understand though is why i still matter.  I want to escape anything that would make me feel. If i feel i won’t breathe and i don’t want to die because i can’t explain myself to God for what i’ve done. So friend wish me luck wherever i go,for i will  need it but please don’t ask after me. Really, i will be fine

TO ALL MOVIE AND SERIES PRODUCERS…….

I love watching movies and tv series . I really do. With the rising craze about very intimate scenes i have no choice but to resort to books. As much as it may not make a significant difference maybe what i want to say is that the reason why i buy any movie is for the story . I yearn for what will happen next like any viewer. At my young age however 20 to be exact i really do not want the details of what happens in other peoples bedrooms. It bothers me because i have to forward every scene thus causing  me to feel  a disconnect with the story.

Granted you have a wide audience who these things appeal to but for a moment consider the minority who just want a good time without having to endure the next scene because it plays out very badly especially if the actors are older. It stops us young people from looking at them from a point of respect,which is what they deserve. I am still trying very hard to find movies that are friendly enough to watch with the entire family, recently i have discovered that animations work wonderfully except i need to watch something else that will resonate with my age ( hopefully without needing to fast forward) all the time. Its hard considering ninety percent of them have this kind of content. Just saying  to any of you that care  to listen.

I Look to you….

I always did from the first time i met you..oops the first time i really met you. I felt the joy. It was  like a waterfall, fresh and high. I must admit that those moments we spent together were worth it. I loved them . I had no care in the world.

You are a good listener so i have come to learn. I feel you every moment i go to bed. Your patience is outstanding .I don’t think i’d have have the heart to forgive you the same way if you hurt me the way i hurt you. That’ s selfish, looks really bad. The first time i said i love you it felt really weird . It had nothing to do with the fact that i didn’t love you  it just hadn’t hit me that i needed to say that especially to you.

I smell you. Its like being in a high. I need it to be more than a feeling. I hate the way you sometimes feel so distant even though you are always there. The way you make me wait for things even though in the end is still get them. I love the way you cheer me up when i am down. I sometimes don’t get it when you tell me to trust you even when things are not working out. With so many words i guess all i am trying to say is I love you very much God, imperfectly and all . I have this feeling that i would love your beard, that is if you have one. It is a little crazy down here, i hope to see you soon, sixty years from now , i guess .

I want to try

I  do things not because i can but because i want to try. I make a lot of mistakes constantly repeating them before i learn but its fine for me to try. There sometimes when i love myself others i feel that i am not good enough because its all about trying. Life is not always smooth and i am not always composed calm and collected nevertheless i try. I have had a row with friends felt the tinge of betrayal i still make friends well, i try.

I used to complain a lot but i have learnt in life to understand and that’s something to keep on trying. There will be bad days , good ones and very ugly days but you have to try and smile. The secret of life as i have come to learn is to keep trying. So i laugh on trudge along and take three strides forward and three backwards because to live i must try.

The free slave

She thinks she’s free

she’s in control of her dreams.

she’s got  the power in her hands

but she’s got chains on her feet

 

she has it all figured out

life is being in charge

she doesn’t see her hands are tied

and the target is on her head

 

she smiles with her lips

with tears in her heart

she moves in dance

to the beat of her own death

 

They worship the ground she walks on

they cheer her to walk on

slowly she descends to the pit

the darkness of life so short lived.

I am just saying…

that your life seems beautiful

all the glitz and glamour surrounding you

but i’m just saying

i love mine simple and quiet

 

that your figure looks good

flat tummy long hair and a good butt

i’m just saying i love my roundness

and my nice flabby stomach

 

that you date only billionaires

and rich guys with six packs

i’m just saying i love them normal

especially those who love me in return

 

that your career seems to flourish

and you spit the names of the best

i’m just saying i love what i do

because it makes me happy

 

that you’d only have one child

that you’ll pamper with all your love

i’m just saying i want six

to teach how to share and care

 

i’m just saying that you seem to be doing well

but in my opinion i want to say

that i really don’t want your life

because i am extremely happy with mine

TEACH ME…..

Teach me how to love

to be as gentle as a dove

to have the heat to care

to know how to share

 

Show me how to smile

as i take each mile

with an ounce of strength

and cover every length

 

demonstrate how the hearts beats

with a ryhme so neat

how the soul sings

about all the insane things

 

influence me to show my feelings

to  facilitate my healings

from past plates of hate

that i have for a long time ate

Her

Bruises on her knees

cuts on her wrists

tears in her eyes

wounds on her neck

stress on her mind

hunger in her belly

fear in her heart

terror in her dreams

hope in her soul

strength in  her loins

she knows and understands

today might be a bad day

Tomorrow will be better