Blog

I Look to you….

I always did from the first time i met you..oops the first time i really met you. I felt the joy. It was  like a waterfall, fresh and high. I must admit that those moments we spent together were worth it. I loved them . I had no care in the world.

You are a good listener so i have come to learn. I feel you every moment i go to bed. Your patience is outstanding .I don’t think i’d have have the heart to forgive you the same way if you hurt me the way i hurt you. That’ s selfish, looks really bad. The first time i said i love you it felt really weird . It had nothing to do with the fact that i didn’t love you  it just hadn’t hit me that i needed to say that especially to you.

I smell you. Its like being in a high. I need it to be more than a feeling. I hate the way you sometimes feel so distant even though you are always there. The way you make me wait for things even though in the end is still get them. I love the way you cheer me up when i am down. I sometimes don’t get it when you tell me to trust you even when things are not working out. With so many words i guess all i am trying to say is I love you very much God, imperfectly and all . I have this feeling that i would love your beard, that is if you have one. It is a little crazy down here, i hope to see you soon, sixty years from now , i guess .

I want to try

I  do things not because i can but because i want to try. I make a lot of mistakes constantly repeating them before i learn but its fine for me to try. There sometimes when i love myself others i feel that i am not good enough because its all about trying. Life is not always smooth and i am not always composed calm and collected nevertheless i try. I have had a row with friends felt the tinge of betrayal i still make friends well, i try.

I used to complain a lot but i have learnt in life to understand and that’s something to keep on trying. There will be bad days , good ones and very ugly days but you have to try and smile. The secret of life as i have come to learn is to keep trying. So i laugh on trudge along and take three strides forward and three backwards because to live i must try.

The free slave

She thinks she’s free

she’s in control of her dreams.

she’s got  the power in her hands

but she’s got chains on her feet

 

she has it all figured out

life is being in charge

she doesn’t see her hands are tied

and the target is on her head

 

she smiles with her lips

with tears in her heart

she moves in dance

to the beat of her own death

 

They worship the ground she walks on

they cheer her to walk on

slowly she descends to the pit

the darkness of life so short lived.

I am just saying…

that your life seems beautiful

all the glitz and glamour surrounding you

but i’m just saying

i love mine simple and quiet

 

that your figure looks good

flat tummy long hair and a good butt

i’m just saying i love my roundness

and my nice flabby stomach

 

that you date only billionaires

and rich guys with six packs

i’m just saying i love them normal

especially those who love me in return

 

that your career seems to flourish

and you spit the names of the best

i’m just saying i love what i do

because it makes me happy

 

that you’d only have one child

that you’ll pamper with all your love

i’m just saying i want six

to teach how to share and care

 

i’m just saying that you seem to be doing well

but in my opinion i want to say

that i really don’t want your life

because i am extremely happy with mine

TEACH ME…..

Teach me how to love

to be as gentle as a dove

to have the heat to care

to know how to share

 

Show me how to smile

as i take each mile

with an ounce of strength

and cover every length

 

demonstrate how the hearts beats

with a ryhme so neat

how the soul sings

about all the insane things

 

influence me to show my feelings

to  facilitate my healings

from past plates of hate

that i have for a long time ate

Her

Bruises on her knees

cuts on her wrists

tears in her eyes

wounds on her neck

stress on her mind

hunger in her belly

fear in her heart

terror in her dreams

hope in her soul

strength in  her loins

she knows and understands

today might be a bad day

Tomorrow will be better

 

They will tell you….

They will tell you because they are not capable of keeping their opinions to themselves.They have to remind you that you are not beautiful enough. A question to them how has their beauty contributed to there welfare most often than not,not at all. They will try to make you small but don’t sweat,good things come in small packages.

 

They hate you and that for no reason at all.Don’t focus on them give a head start to your dreams.They will scare you ,don’t get rid of the fear use it to propel you to where you want to be. When you fall and they laugh stand up and next time fall harder for you might never know the luck of landing on success. They have a lot to say,give them a hearing they might as well raise you up. You have no business hating them for if it were not for them you would probably not be where you are.

Lessons from God

I used to think that because God was my father he ought to answer my prayers just as i prayed them. A lot of His children get frustrated because that’s how we view him and ultimately fall of the wagon. I often find myself questioning some of his decisions because they don’t fit the profile of what i should be expecting. With time i have learnt a lot that i would like to share with all those who like me are often left with more questions than answers.

God is not a coffee machine. We are created for his service not the other way round. He is not always going to answer our prayers exactly as we want him to in fact he rarely does. This does not mean that He cares less He just has a different view of what you are asking for. You see most of the things that we actually wish for we don’t want but we do not know that yet until it happens and you begin wondering what life would have been if you had not gotten your wish in the first place.

He’s taught me patience . Sometimes he just allows us to be in the presence of not so pleasant people to sift our unpleasantness and make us better . He allows us to go through difficult times for us to appreciate the blessings that come along with it .We never have value for light until its dark. So if you are praying to have God take away your troubles why don’t you adjust that just a little by asking for strength to bear it.

He makes me strong. I am not the same girl i was three years ago. I have learnt to give  service where i can and to pray for that which is elusive to me. I have learnt to love not because i could be loved back but in itself its a gift. I have learnt to see things not as they are but as they should be. I still have a long way to go but i am enjoying every minute of it with God by my side.

We are all students in the school of life.

My brother loves watching Nat Geo wild(grrrrrrr… i really don’t like it.)Maybe its because i don’t realize the dynamics involved(all i see are a bunch of animals preying on each other at least until recently.)I saw a side of the wild that i was not conversant with before. I see female species covering long distances to provide for their young. I’ve seen a lioness fight with a lion fiercely to protect her young. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. I’ve witnessed a wildbeast straying from the herd to wait for her young one even with the knowledge that she could be an easy target. I’ve seen the true meaning of motherhood from animals.

From an orphaned tiger i learnt the meaning of survival. After escaping an excruciating experience that led to the death of its mother it was faced with the eminent threat of being burned alive by humans. It had to walk for miles. Hunger was not making the journey easier. To make the situation worse it was not familiar with the art of learning. It had to learn how to hunt and endured rejection for a while before it earned its mate. A true mark of patience and after got the right to its territory.

You never know until you know. Life in the jungle is not much different than ours. To truly live you must keeping learning,practice giving and experience growth. You need to love unconditionally, fight fiercely and keep moving regardless of the situation. It was then that I realized being older does indeed make my brother wiser (almost)to appreciate and use observation as a basis of learning. In God’s good earth everyone is a student.

THE SOUND OF DESTINY

via Daily Prompt: Sound

 

Listen to the voice of your dreams.Rap to the feeling of doubt. Clap to the belief of your abilities.Dance to the beat of your strengths. Bang on the doors of your fears, Tap to your newly found courage. Click to the silliness of your mistakes,shout at the rudeness of your failures.Beep at the stubbornness of your obstacles,boo at the ignorance of your youth.Sing of your newly found success and whisper to your next awaiting dream.